I came across several parenting posts on discipling children. Check out this post at Multi-Tasking Moms and this post today on Slacker-moms-r-us....WOW! She spoke my words exactly!!! I have seen too many children signed up for park district classes, preschool programs, swim lessons, traveling soccer and cheer-leading classes -- all at the same time and they are only 5 years old!!! Children these days don't know what the word 'no' means and they are handed way too many things without working for them or earning them. They also don't know how to be bored or have quiet time where they need to entertain themselves.
Now, don't get me wrong, we do buy our daughter cute clothes, but I REFUSE to buy children's clothes at name-brand stores. I shop the clearance rack at Target, garage sales and we LOVE hand-me-downs. It's not that we can't afford to buy name-brand clothing, it's that we choose to spend our money on other things. (and I REFUSE to get wrapped up on "keeping up with the Jones' mentality)
My husband and I both agree that our daughter will probably not like us very much when she asks to have "such-and-such like so-and-so" and we tell her, "no" or "you can buy that with your own money if you'd like". We have also committed to allowing her in only 1 activity at a time -- right now it's parent/tot swimming classes on Saturday mornings.
It's tough being a parent, not because of anything that is out of our control -- it's actually all within our control -- what she watches on TV, what she hears come out of our mouths, what we bring into the house, what we choose to spend our money on and what we choose to partake in as a family.
So, let's all start "de-bratting" our off-spring and change the generation of children we are raising! It can start with me and you...
One of the comments by Beck to this post was VERY good....So, I wanted to update this post and include her comment -- GREAT point!
**I think what actually spoils a child is too much getting of their own way, too high of a self-regard and a certain kind of parental neglect. Add it all up and it spells BRAT.
6 comments:
This was a great post by Slackermommy! And I agree completely w/ you on the clothes thing. I'm very blessed to have a neighbor across the street with a little boy a few years older than Jacob. Just today she called me and said she had a few bags of clothes for me. I was just lamenting to Kyle that Jacob needed fall clothes and we didn't really have the extra $. How awesome to get that phone call today!
We will also make the choice to not participate in sports or events that meet on Sunday. That day will be about church. End of discussion.
We LOVE shopping clothing sales. It's an awesome way to get "new" clothes without spending even a fraction of their initial value. And they're better than garage sales which are hit or miss.
We allow the kids one main activity in addition to scouting. Mainly because scouting is a family activity. Both the boys do soccer this fall, but will probably have no extra activities in the winter. Maybe a spring/summer sport but I like having winter free for holiday activities. I also want to start both the boys on practicing piano again but at home only. It can be tough to decide which is the ONLY activity they can do, especially when they only happen for 30 minutes, once a week. But it's awesome to let my kids just roam the backyards, for hours on end. They don't know how lucky they are! Life will become too regimented all too soon.
Rock on! Let's get a movement going.
I've got a great tip for parents who have a hard time dealing with the battles of kids who want everything their friends have. Give them a monthly allowance and tell them to buy it themselves. It's amazing how they don't want it so bad if they have to use their own money. It puts it back on THEM because they CHOSE to not buy.
A brilliant post!
My kids are VERY overindulged - they're the only grandkids on either side - but they still manage to be sweet, unaffected children. I think what actually spoils a child is too much getting of their own way, too high of a self-regard and a certain kind of parental neglect. Add it all up and it spells BRAT.
While we're on the topic, the Mothers of Twins & Triplets is having their big toy & clothing sale this Saturday (9/22) at Mooseheart in Aurora! :) I'm all over it!
I've also recently gotten into buying/selling at Once Upon a Child stores, which has saved a ton of $. I nearly went into shock when I did my first 'shopping for 2 kids at one time' trip to Carter's recently, and ended up returning a bunch of stuff to await the big resales!!!
Thanks for the shout-out!
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